i had almost forgotten what this felt like.
this feeling of not being nearly enough.
not having the proper words to take away the hurt.
not being able to hide how torn up inside i feel.
not being able to bolt out the door, hop in my car, drive to his house, and beat him senseless.
or beat some sense into him.
whichever works better.
no smiles are without their frowns.
there wouldn't be much worth in happiness if sadness didn't exist.
i just wish i could make it go away.
make him go away.
you don't deserve the hurt he incurs.
i want to be finished with college.
i want to pay off my credit debt.
i want to save up enough to move to DC.
i want to transfer to the Barnes & Noble at the train station.
i want to get away from all this disinterest and disgust.
i love this city.
but i hate this city.
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