good mornin'

i bought a green, college-ruled, spiral notebook 2/3rds of the way through my first semester at Goucher.
at first, i alternated between writing one or two lines per college-ruled line.
somewhere along the way, i decided to write exclusively two lines per line.
it made me look somewhat batshit crazy when people read over my shoulder.
it also made it impossible for people to read over my shoulder.
i've been writing in this book for so long.
through so much.
the transition to college.
dead friendships.
living on campus.
brotherly abandonment.
misguided love.
bad break-ups.
Jack Leonard.
long drives.
this violent mind and life.
those early mornings.
these late nights.
so many repeated themes.
so many things had changed.
so many things didn't change at all.
4 long years in one little book.
i don't know what i expected when i finished it.
felt like i just wanted to start over
and over and over and over