i've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

i'm very proud of something.
Joy Division is blowin' up amongst the hipsters and the cool crowds.
it has a lot to do with major fashion labels loving Ian Curtis and everything Joy Division ever did.
then, it has a whole hell of a lot to do with Control.
by the way, if you have not seen Control, go buy it.
don't rent it. the movie is worth every penny.
now what i'm proud of:

i found New Order and Joy Division all by my lonesome.

if you love The Get Up Kids anywhere near as much as i do, you are fully aware that TGUK has an amazing cover of New Order - Regret on Eudora.
that has always been my favorite TGUK cover song.
two years back, i decided i was a fool for not looking up New Order way back in the middle school days.
i fucking loved everything i downloaded.

oh yeah, and i was real into the cover of Blue Monday by Orgy way back when.
Orgy was hilarious. that song is untouchable.

anyway, i listened to New Order for weeks straight, realized Jerry Hsu and Louie Barletta shared a part in a video to one of their songs, then Tim told me 'bout Ian Curtis in passing.
he said "you know their singer killed himself. they used to be Joy Division, but the singer hung himself before their first US tour."
he told me i had definitely heard and loved Joy Division, i just didn't realize it.
he also said "watch out, he has a weird voice. it's really low."

at Amy Reid's end of summer cook out, i found her sister's copy of Joy Division - Substance.
popped it in, listened to it on repeat all afternoon, and recognized Transmission and Love Will Tear Us Apart.
i had to go buy that CD.
now i have Unknown Pleasures on vinyl, an Unknown Pleasures t-shirt coming in the mail, i'm trying to get Closer on vinyl today or tomorrow, i have an Altamont shirt that has "love tore us apart" printed all over it, i need to order the Joy Division documentary that Best Buy didn't carry, and i love Control so much.

at Taxlo, they played New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle on Halloween.
that is my be-all-end-all favorite New Order song.
i started yelling to everyone "NEW ORDER! THEY'RE PLAYING NEW ORDER!"
Claire was the only person anywhere near as psyched as me.
my preference depends on my mood, but Joy Division has been winning out over New Order for the past few months.
let's face it, New Order has much cheerier songs than Joy Division.
and not to be a negative nancy, but i've been better.

It was me, waiting for me
Hoping for something more
Me, seeing me this time, hoping for something else

i'm fine with you off my mind

tommy!



soon... (could this be a future promotional poster?)



friends sharing.



that box lived up to the hype.



in a hole.

what you missed at 7:00 AM

christmas loot breakdown:

Vans from Tim and Lindsey (back in November).
a pirate bag full of the most blessed gifts from Lori.
Invincible and Red Son graphic novels from Dustin.
$40 from Aunt Net and Uncle Larry.
moleskine notebooks from Amy

from my parents:
2 american eagle fatique-style shirts (black for work, green for wherever).
2 pairs of american apparel boxer briefs (black and purple. my mom knows me well).
a long sleeve mickey mouse shirt.
$10 to panera.
DKNY boxer briefs (i picked these out. they were very on sale).
a big ass blue duffel bag.
stocking stuffers: toothpaste, tooth brush, altamont bandana, gum, tic tacs, deodorant, cherry chapstick.
2 packs of polaroid film.
a new Altamont t-shirt.
Burberry colougne, after shave, and shower gel!
new Altamont jeans! (there's a fun story behind these)

from my parents, Nanny, Pap-pap, Grandma, Grandpa and myself:
Canon Rebel XS Digital Single Lens Reflex camera. oh yes.

from Chris and Kristen:
a free pie of my choice from Dangerously Delicious Pies. so psyched.

from Grandma and Grandpa:
Starbucks peppermint and gingerbread syrup.
Starbucks espresso.
a check for $283.25 (which goes directly toward my DSLR).

happy holidayz

the legend.



we know how grandma celebrates.



merry christmas to YOU.



they really friends.



family.



i smell SO good right now.

i have a DSLR

more digital SLR photos on the way.
this Christmas rules.

KING DIAMOND

come over my house!

awesome.

instead of homeworking, i cleaned my cameras

i wish this dude was coming to the party

my parents are going to DisneyLand this week.
so...
in the spirit of the holiday season...
Christmas Cookie get together at my house this tuesday!

first and foremost.
IF I DO NOT PERSONALLY INVITE YOU, DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE.
plain and simple, it's my parents house and it is going to be a small gathering.
you will be turned away, and, if you get irate, i will personally stomp you out.

show up 'round 7:00.
wear a sweater (the uglier and/or christmasy-er, the better. if you don't have a sweater, Dustin, you can borrow one of mine).
you need to bring cookies. you should bake them yourself.
eat dinner before you come. it's a cookie party. all 'bout the desert.
bring your own drinks. i'll get some soda and i'll provide hot cocoa. alcohol is on you.

now i'll reiterate:
IF I DO NOT PERSONALLY INVITE YOU, DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE.

i love The Get Up Kids.
i love my friends.
i don't love papers.
this last paper for Black Theology is kind of writing itself,
but i need to go get some S-bucks.

i really love The Get Up Kids.
and stealing 4th.

totality of being

good morning.



Dustin doesn't have a camera phone.



let me get my hands...



RSC signature water.



PV lattes.

i want so bad.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET

click any picture and wander my flickr

2 reasons to smile: french fries with gravy and no more play practice.



two good dudes with good hair-do's.



Tommy parties way hard.



the best Dootzie/Lindsey shot i've ever taken.



Rob be creepin'.



Tommy and Jovie are twins. Tim is my twin.

point 'n shoot. like taking a life.

yesterday my dad and i went to Salvation Army.
we dropped my car off to be inspected and then i needed a black suit for the Satan costume.
i told my dad to look around for something else he wanted, he wasn't an experienced thrifter.
i found myself another polaroid camera. it was a land camera with a flash.
i now own four polaroid cameras. it cost $1.50.
my dad found a book entitled Buckeye Madness. the man loves Ohio State.



that was my collection in July of 2007.
i have atleast 10 more including the cameras i use.
i'm getting money toward a DSLR for Christmas.

what a time to realize

of course, with only a week of classes left and a week of exams up next,
it finally occurs to me.
i went through this entire semester wrong.
trying to do work late, late at night.
desperate to focus and make my mind function.
how could i forget
that i'm a morning person?
i woke up so early and am being so productive.
what a mistake to make.
i have two weeks of early rising to save my grades.
i can pull it off.



best breakfast spot.

not about some dumb bitch

God i miss you
but i never meant to
what an awful way to live

Kate Nash is better than Katy Perry

thanksgivin' photos

i'm tryin' to get up in them guts, girl.



heaven in a handbasket.



appropriate holiday attire.



confection perfection.

DAVE SHOW PREVIEW

Thanksgiving is for family

ya gotta love my dad.



ya gotta love both my parents.



and my older brother and sister-in-law.



and who could dislike these two?



i prob won't see these two today, but Amy and Dustin count as family.

dude, come back!



burn your past. you're better off without it.

--

I don’t want to miss you
or think of you at night
when I’m trying to fall asleep
and the music won’t work for me
I don’t want to wrap my arms
around a pillow or the sheets
pretending I’m pulling you
close to me
I don’t want to sleep with you
in any way shape or form
whether you’re crawling in bed naked
or just trying to keep warm
not even when I’m so tired
but my eyes are still so wide
I don’t want to remember the mess of a bed
I could never seem to get comfortable in
I need a wider space to lay
an empty bed to rest my head
I was always so cramped with you
and I’m looking for something new
a huge bed with fresh sheets
to stretch out my arms and spread my feet
I’ll crank up the AC and be frozen
in this awful summer heat

(written during summer if you couldn't tell)

eddie money

people i currently miss:









--

letting go of holding close
i'd rather cling to these dark roads
no one loves me like my high beams
warding off pale eyes on black streets
nights i've wasted with people i don't
know enough to form a care
i've spilt my pen on so many heads
but the ink never sinks in
so i empty these thoughts behind the wheel
driving until my breathing slows
shaking in the cold with the windows down
letting my mind scream itself out
i could take the blame the cause the fault
and throw it anywhere 'round my head
but i'll keep it in
carry loves and sins
give meaning to leaving this behind
there's a world i'm trying to find
need to push across state lines
or i feel too damn old
as young as i may look
i haven't found the words
to fill another book
so i need a new escape to within
to devise some lines around this life
give me cause to stay
i need to leave
to be at peace
i need to stay
to be ok.

heyyyy Buddy.



bite the fucking curb.

--

i don't even see it anymore
a face
a smile
a form
to have
to hold
no eyes to lose myself in
no loss for words these days
no voice to draw my mind away
from that which "must be done"
i cannot place my thoughts these days
too tired to move and wasting away
no matter how healthy i seem in the sun
i'm a wreck by the light of the moon
walking as late as my body will wake
i keep words in my chest
rather than speaking them
i feel so far from that which i want
i couldn't say
what i want anyway
it's all so far from me