good mornin'

lack of motivation has caught me.
i'm sitting on this couch all the time again.
hiding out from the work that was due a few weeks back.
drinking coffee doesn't push me to do anything 'cept sleep uncomfortably.
tossing and turning and learning that this life could be so much more.
i've been dreaming lately, but they aren't worth the mention.
i've been living lately.
finding a word i'm afraid to say.
i've been missing people lately.
don't know if people are missing me.

i guess and i can rest reassured that i'm further along than most.
i've got my life together enough.
i haven't got my life together at all compared to how things were.
i have a job that i never work.
i'm in school, for what that's worth.
i have friends that i'm good to and they're good to me.
whenever we have the chance to see and be seen.
used to have the drive.
now i just want to feel alive.
and it feels so real standing with her arms around me.
my arms around her.
feeling worth in these worthless stores and parking lots.
holding hands whenever no one is looking.
i'm hooked.

i feel held together and i feel torn apart.
turning in all directions.
i'm always hunting a distraction.
not even motivated to do what i shouldn't be doing anyway.
i want to sleep until summer sets me free.
i want to sleep a little longer.
see if i dream something better than i have been.