good mornin'

putting my credit card in my cash box.
no more spending money i do not have.
i'm done with that.

talked tonight about things on my mind.
typical "future is now and i just fucking realized it" stuff.
then some real talk.
talks on living together, on being together, on a word she tricked me into saying.
saying it for the first time, meaning it for the first time.
this is... new.

i was anxious all day.
i've got so much to do and i'm wasting as much time as possible.
we had a rough night and a slow morning, but things settled.
then i got myself all worked up again.
thinking about what waits ahead.

now that that one word has been put out there, something has settled.
i'm still anxious about school.
i'm still eager to get back to work.
i'm still nervous about the very prevalent future.
i'm still trying to find the motivation to do anything and everything.
but i'm not worried about us.

confused, nervous, hesitant, scared.
this must be love.